ADD adventures straight from autism capital

👨‍💻 Morning Mayhem in the Autism Capital: As a software engineer residing in the unofficial autism capital, where being on the spectrum is nearly a job requirement, my mornings begin with visions of conquering code and perhaps the world—or at least a piece of JavaScript. People here often say we’re like wizards, just more introverted and with keyboards instead of wands. Coffee in hand, I’m ready to break the stereotypes: Yes, we can communicate, especially if it’s over GitHub. First task? Tackle that bug that’s been my nemesis since yesterday. But ah, the ritualistic email check leads me down a rabbit hole about Amazonian frogs. Why? Because the internet is a treasure trove, and who doesn’t want to know about amphibian acoustics before breakfast?

🕵️‍♂️ The Great Documentation Odyssey Continues: Alright, let’s pull myself back from the brink of becoming a self-taught herpetologist to squash this bug. Ah, the documentation—written by none other than the keynote speaker from last year’s big tech conference. Quick detour into his blog (because, of course, his thoughts on the latest algorithm tweaks are a must-read), and suddenly I’m deep-diving into GitHub profiles. It’s not stalking; it’s passionate research of fellow minds in the wild digital yonder. 🌍

🔄 Hyperfocus Hijinks, Engineer Edition: Lunch? Who needs it when you’re an engineer with a penchant for hyperfocus, capable of skipping basic human needs in pursuit of coding glory? Instead of eating, I find myself revamping my IDE settings—because clearly, what I needed wasn’t food but a new color theme for my code editor. It’s an epic battle of wits between me, my environment settings, and the elusive perfect setup that might just make my code debug itself.

🐛 Afternoon in the Introvert’s Lair: The sun climbs higher, and here I am, engaged in a stare-off with my screen. The code is taunting me, I’m sure of it. A friendly “ping” from Slack pulls me into a GIF war about our next team outing—introverts united in digital banter.

ME (typing into Slack): Check this out, team! Retro sci-fi themed GIF for our outing! 🚀

I upload a classic sci-fi movie scene GIF, feeling pretty good about my choice.

ASPERGER PETER (quickly replies): Nice, but here’s a real gem. 🌟

Peter uploads an obscure, perfectly themed sci-fi GIF that’s hilariously accurate.

ME (typing, barely containing my envy): Oh wow, Peter, that’s… impressive. 😳

CATMAMA PATY (joining in): Peter, you’re killing it! Where do you find these? 😂

PETER (nonchalantly): Oh, just dug it up from my collection. Check this one out.

He posts another GIF, this time a custom-made one that’s technically brilliant and thematically perfect.

TURRET DAVE (chiming in with excitement): Hold up, folks! You gotta see this.

Dave uploads a GIF of a famous sci-fi character in a slapstick scenario, perfectly looped.

ME (typing, feeling outmatched): Tom, that’s super cool. But wait till you see my next one…

I scramble to find something that could compete but end up posting something a bit lackluster.

PETER (adding another one): Thanks, guys! Made this one this morning. 😎

Peter uploads a GIF featuring a rare sci-fi dance sequence, flawlessly executed with a custom caption.

ME (voice over, internal monologue): Look at that perfect loop. The frame rate. Oh my God, it even has a custom caption… 😧

As everyone reacts with laughter and awe, I feel a mix of admiration and a hint of defeat.

CATMAMA PATY (enthusiastically): Peter, you’re the GIF wizard! 🧙‍♂️

ME (typing, my competitive spirit tingling): Yeah, awesome, Peter. How’d a coding ace get so good at GIFs? 🤔

My screen is filled with digital applause for Peter. The sound in the room dies down and all we hear is a faint heartbeat as Bateman… erm… Shem stares at the magnificent perfectly-looped GIF

TURRET DAVE (concerned): You okay there? You’re sweating bullets! 😅

🌙 Evening Plot Thickens with a Touch of Conspiracy: As the darkness settles and my room dims to the glow of my screens, the day’s escapades transform from routine debugging to devious strategizing. Tonight, sleep will have to wait as a brilliant, albeit slightly sinister, plan begins to take shape in my mind. My newfound inspiration from the world of espionage and intrigue fuels my resolve. Asperger Peter and Turret Dave, think the day’s GIF skirmish was just playful banter, but tomorrow’s coding clash will be a different game entirely.

Armed with my secret weapon — a newly mastered set of ffmpeg filters—I’m ready to elevate the stakes. This isn’t just about coding anymore; it’s about proving who truly commands the digital realm. As I lay my head down, visions of tomorrow’s triumph dance through my head. I think I’ll go with -filter_complex "[0:v]eq=saturation=10,setpts=2.0*PTS[v];[0:a]atempo=1.5,asetrate=44100*1.5[a]". 🎬🎤

With each passing moment, my strategy becomes clearer, and my excitement builds. It’s not just a set of filters; it’s an ace up my sleeve. 🃏 I drift off to sleep, a smirk playing on my lips, dreaming of the moment I unveil my masterpiece, leaving them both shaken and utterly outsmarted. 🕺💥 This game of wits has just escalated, and I am the grandmaster setting the board for tomorrow’s checkmate. 🧠♟️

So, that’s what it’s like coding with ADD—turning everyday challenges into an epic saga of plots, plans, and playful triumphs. 🚀

PS. That bug? Turns out client used a cookie blocking chrome extension 🤪