Simple sabotage tech field manual

Reacting to the OSS’s Sabotage Playbook in the Tech World!

Today we’re diving into an old-school spy manual that could legit be describing some of the companies I worked for! I’m referring to “SIMPLE SABOTAGE FIELD MANUAL” by the Office of Strategic Services (nowadays called CIA)

Let’s break down 20 sabotage techniques that are hilariously relatable to anyone in tech. I don’t do youtube so we’re going for markdown commentary today.

1. Doing Everything Through “Channels” 🚧

OSS Move: Insist on using formal channels for every little decision. Tech Translation: Ever had a simple fix take weeks because you had to get approval from five different managers? Yeah, me too. 🤦‍♂️

2. Make “Speeches” in Meetings 🎙️

OSS Move: Talk frequently and at length about nothing. Tech Translation: That one person who turns a 5-minute standup into their personal TED Talk. Every. Single. Time. 🎤😒

3. Committee Overload 📋

OSS Move: Refer everything to a committee. Tech Translation: Why make a decision today when you can schedule seven meetings about it first? 🤷‍♂️

4. Irrelevant Issues Galore 🤪

OSS Move: Constantly bring up things that have nothing to do with the topic at hand. Tech Translation: “That reminds me of the time…” - Please, just don’t. 🙄

5. Haggle Over Words 📜

OSS Move: Debate every word in a document. Tech Translation: Two hours later, and we’re still arguing about the use of “efficient” vs. “effective.” 🤦

6. Rehash Decisions 🔄

OSS Move: Question decisions from the last meeting. Tech Translation: “Are we really sure about this?” - Yes, we were, like three meetings ago! 😡

7. Always Advocate Caution ⚠️

OSS Move: Be overly cautious. Tech Translation: When you move so slow to avoid risks that the project risks never finishing.

8. Question Everything’s Propriety 🕵️

OSS Move: Doubt the legality or appropriateness of every action. Tech Translation: “But does this comply with the new policy from 1998?” 📚👀

9. Demand Written Orders 📝

OSS Move: Require everything in writing. Tech Translation: “Can you email that to me?” - Right after you just explained it in painstaking detail. 🙃

10. Misunderstand Orders 🤷‍♂️

OSS Move: Play dumb. Tech Translation: “Oh, I thought you meant next year!” - Classic move when you didn’t want to do the task.

11. Perfect the Unimportant 🎨

OSS Move: Focus intensely on trivial tasks. Tech Translation: Spend days pixel-perfecting a button that no user will ever notice. 😂

12. Assign Important Tasks Poorly 📉

OSS Move: Give crucial jobs to the least capable. Tech Translation: Because who better to handle your database migration than the intern, right? 🙃

13. Multiply Paperwork 🗂️

OSS Move: Start duplicate files. Tech Translation: Why have one ticket when you can have twelve? More JIRA, more fun, right? 🎉

14. Multiply Procedures 🔄

OSS Move: Create a labyrinth of approvals. Tech Translation: Need a new mouse? Get ready for a quest across departments. 🐭🏰

15. Make Mistakes in Quantities 🧮

OSS Move: Mess up order amounts. Tech Translation: “Who ordered 1000 servers instead of 100?” - An honest mistake, I swear. 😇

16. Misfile Documents 📂

OSS Move: Lose important documents. Tech Translation: “We had a backup plan? Oh, it was in that folder we deleted…” 💔

17. Misroute Materials 🔀

OSS Move: Send stuff to the wrong place. Tech Translation: “Why are our servers being shipped to Antarctica?” 🌍❄️

18. Act Stupid 😶

OSS Move: Pretend not to understand simple things. Tech Translation: “How does email work again?” - Asked by the senior dev. 🤦‍♂️

19. Snarl Up Administration 🐍

OSS Move: Fill out forms incorrectly. Tech Translation: Because everyone loves redoing time sheets. Am I right? 😒

20. Cry and Sob Hysterically 😭

OSS Move: Break down at every opportunity. Tech Translation: When the third coffee machine breaks down before noon. ☕️💔